Sayward Lamb sent me this email. I can’t reproduce it the way I received it so here is the text.

Three old ladies are vacationing in Florida and they decide to go to a baseball game. They bring with them a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Soon they are mixing drinks and having a good time but realize that the whiskey is almost all gone and there are a lot of innings left to play.

So from all of this information, can you tell me what inning it is and how many runners are on base?

Okay! It’s the bottom of the “Fifth” and the bags are loaded!

I know it’s hard to believe but once Gabby had a job. It only lasted three days and he got fired. Here’s what happened.

Gabby went down to see the Andover road commissioner. Back in them days it was Marshall Meisner. He asked Marshall for a job.

Well, you know Marshall thought about that for a long time. He knew that Gabby, not being the brightest bulb in a pack, probably couldn’t do too much and Marshall didn’t want to come across to the good taxpaying citizens of Andover that he might be discriminating.

After much pondering, Marshall told Gabby he had a job. Gabby was some excited. He immediately began thinking about what he was going to do with all his money.

Marshall put Gabby in his foremans pick-up truck and headed up the East B Hill Road with a bucket of white paint and a paint brush. He took him all the way to the town line.

Marshall explained to Gabby that the center line in the road needed to be painted white and that he could start at the town line and paint back toward town.

Gabby painted all day and at the end of the day, Marshall sent one of his crew out to pick him up.

Early the next morning, before anyone had arrived at the town garage, Marshall road up the East B Hill Road to see how much painting Gabby had gotten done. Much to his surprise, Gabby had painted three miles of white line.

Gabby returned to painting on the second day and the next morning, once again, Marshall checked on Gabby’s work. He was quite concerned because Gabby had only painted one mile of line.

Marshall new that it was too good to be true. He knew Gabby wasn’t no worker but he reasoned that perhaps Gabby had had a bad day, so he sent him out the third day.

The next morning Marshall returned to the job site to discover Gabby had only painted about an eighth of a mile and he was furious.

He rushed back to the garage and waited for Gabby. Gabby arrived to work right on time and Marshall called him into his office.

“Your fired!”, yelled Marshall. “The first day I sent you out to paint a stupid white line down the middle of the road and you did pretty good. You painted 3 miles that day. The second day you only managed 1 mile and yesterday only about an eighth of a mile. What do have to say for yourself?”

“Well, geez, boss,” Gabby said. “Like yesterday was really hard! I worked as fast as I could but it was over 4 miles walk back to that can of paint!”

Otis and Gabby were hanging out over at Marston’s Garage, when Ms. Emery, the blond bombshell who taught school at the Andover Elementary School came in the front door.

Gary was busy replacing someone’s chrome muffler bearings and crawled out from under the car.

“Whatcha need?” he asked.

“I need a new 710 thingy,” Ms. Emery said.

Gary stood there for a minute looking totally perplexed until he finally couldn’t stand it anymore, “What the hell’s a 710 thingy?”

With that Gabby got up from his favorite seat and said, “Sometimes Gary I wonder if you got enough brains to get in out of the rain. Everyone knows what a 710 thingy is.”

“Then tell me what it is!” yelled Gary.

With that Gabby walked over to the car Gary was working on. The hood was open and Gabby pointed in to the “OIL” cap and said, “Right there!” to which Ms. Emery concured.

Well, not really! I’ve been very busy and I’ve been away a couple of days so I apologize for the lack of stories and entertainment here. I’ll get better.