Beatrice wasn’t too smart. I mean it wasn’t that she didn’t have a clue, it was she didn’t even have a suspicion. She was also in possession of a face that only a mother could love. In other words, when Beatrice was little her mother went with her everywhere she went because she was so ugly she didn’t want to have to kiss her goodbye. Beatrice was however wealthy because she was the only member of the family of a wealthy uncle who come from down Boston way.

When the uncle died, he left his riches to Beatrice who shortly thereafter married Fred.

One day as Beatrice was talking to Fred and feeling a bit insecure, she quizzed, “Fred, would have married me even if my uncle hadn’t left me with lots of money?”

Fred’s answer flew right over Beatrice’s head, “Beatrice, I would have married you no matter who had given you that money.”

I don’t know really but one night Otis and Gabby were making their usual rounds throughout town making sure everything met with their approval. From Mill’s Market they crossed the street to Gary’s Garage and noticed two old ladies (no names please) sitting in a bright and very old Cadillac parked in front of the garage.

Gabby said to Otis, “Hey, that’s Gary’s old Caddy! Why are they sitting in it?”

Otis and Gabby approached the two ladies in the car and Otis, grabbing his suspenders with his two thumbs (his typical, “I’m the boss around here” approach) and asked, “What are you two ladies doing sitting in Gary’s Caddy?”

One lady replied, “This isn’t Gary’s Cadillac anymore. We bought it this morning from him.”

Puzzled, Otis questioned again, “Then if you bought it, why don’t you drive it out of here?”

The old lady retorted, “Well, the reason we bought this particular car at this particular garage was we were told that if we did, we’d get screwed! So we’re still waiting.”