I recently did a movie review for Carter Davidson, “East by North East“. While watching the 70-minute DVD, there are several breaks throughout the movie where Maine humorist, Joe Perham, is heard spinning a fishing yarn of some sort. He tells a fairly quick hitting one which is one of my favorites. It goes something like this.

A feller went bass fishing over on Moose Pond. He was having a good time – how good might be a bit subjective but he suddenly realizes he’s out of bait and isn’t sure what to do.

Looking around, he spots a snake not but a few paces from where he’s standing and observes a frog hanging partly out of the snakes mouth. Reacting quickly, perhaps in much the same way he would react toward anything, he reaches behind him and yanks out a flask of whiskey and abruptly pours a shot down the throat of the snake hoping it would give up the frog.

Sure enough! The snake relinquished the frog and slithered away. The old feller used the frog as bait and wouldn’t you know it, caught a 4 1/2 pound bass with it. But his frog was now gone.

Wondering, the feller looked back over his shoulder and somewhat to his surprise the snake was back. This time with two frogs in its mouth.

Mainard True

I have a series of 17 photographs that arrived in my inbox the other day. The title said it was a Canadian National Railroad train stuck in the snow in Northern Maine. I think it looks like Northern Maine, I believe it looks like a CN train and I know that white stuff is snow.

For obvious reasons I didn’t post all the pictures on this page. Click this link and view the entire gallery of 17 photos.

Mainard True

Today marks the six-year anniversary of the day that radical Muslims attacked and killed thousands of innocent people at the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and on a flight over Pennsylvania. Today is a day to remember because it is the freedom that we enjoy that is the biggest reason these murderers attacked. It is imperative that we never forget this act.

Unfortunately, yesterday while a United States General, David Patraeus, was reporting to Congress about events in Iraq, it became obvious that some have surely forgotten and have lost sight of who exactly the enemy is.

“Where were you when the world stopped turning?”

Tom Remington

I just wanted to take a few minutes to wish everyone a happy Labor Day. Labor Day is a time when we take a break from our busy work schedules to reflect back on the hours of labor and hard work put in by Americans everywhere that helps to make this country great. Thank you to all who have toiled hard this past year.

For many, Labor Day marks the end of summer. By this week just about every kid in America will be back in school but before that happens, I hope you enjoy a great time together getting in those end of the summer cookouts, camping trips and family gatherings.

Be safe!

Tom Remington

Most of you probably already know but the Black Bear Blog is part of Skinny Moose Media. Skinny Moose Media comprises a wide array of Internet enterprises. Included in SMM are:

U.S. Hunting Today – As of today, U.S. Hunting Today comprises 40 state hunting websites. Each website contains articles, tips, product reviews, news, resources, forums and more.

Skinny Moose blog network – I am not the only blogger for Skinny Moose. We are launching new blogs everyday. As of today we have 48 blogs. For those of you who don’t know, I blog on 5 different Skinny Moose Media blog sites – Black Bear Blog, Blogging the Maine Outdoors, Daily Bag Limit, Upper Andro and Black Fly Blog (outdoor humor).

Today, my son, Steven, and I are pleased to announce the launching of Skinny Moose Radio. Skinny Moose Radio will be an Internet broadcast. Each broadcast will be aired from the Skinny Moose Radio website and will be available for podcasts as well.

We are extremely excited about this new venture as we feel that audio and video is the future of the Internet and we want to be cutting edge in that department. We have been working on this for quite some time, studying and researching to find the right format and people to work with to make this top quality and professionally done.

We are developing new shows everyday. At present we are running a few shows and music while we assemble other programs. The response we have gotten from those we have talked with about this venture has been nothing but positive and the excitement level grows.

When you click on the link to the SMR homepage, at the top of the page you’ll find a link to the weekly schedule of shows. That’s where you’ll want to check to see what is playing. The schedule will be updated weekly. You will also find two other features of interest. To the right, you’ll see a link to “Skinny Moose Radio”, also showing a pulse meter. Click on that and you’ll directly to the broadcast. Your computer default media player should begin broadcasting right away. Also, near the top of the page you’ll see a Skinny Moose Media toolbar. In the top left of that toolbar you have an option to download and place that toolbar into your browser. When you do this, you will have a player function where you can quickly access Skinny Moose Radio and add your own material to listen to. There is also a button that to direct you to all the blogs of Skinny Moose Media. Just click on the drop down arrow on “blogs” and you’ll get all the latest posts for the blogs.

One show that will air every Wednesday at 4 p.m. is Maine Humorist and entertainer, Joe Perham. His cd “Guide to Hunting and Fishing in Maine” is now playing. We will add more of Joe’s programs as we progress.

I also am in the planning stages of producing a radio program that will be called, “Open Air with Tom Remington”. I thought about this for quite some time and wanted to be able to put together a show that listeners would like but wouldn’t be just a continuation of the Black Bear Blog, as big a success as that is. Open Air will be quite a variety of things dealing with subject matter, that you might have guessed, involving the wide open spaces of the outdoors.

I have plans to bring lots of interviews and talks with people from a wide array of interests, along with perhaps some music, humor and other assorted goodies.

If you have ideas for a show, let me know. I’m open to ideas. Also, if you ever thought about the prospects of becoming a radio personality, email us and tell us what you got in mind. We have 168 hours of programming time to fill each week.

I certainly hope that you will become a listener as well as a reader and help us out by offering your support to Skinny Moose Radio by listening in. You can read more about the launching of Skinny Moose Radio here.

Tom Remington

Once again it is time for the annual Bethel Art Fair which means that Janet Willie of Bethel will be hosting the annual shy and novice art show at her residence on High Street. Last year I brought the framed sketches of the Laugh Maine characters and displayed them there.

This year the gang hits the road again and will be on display again along with a hand out that tells a little bit about each character.

If you are in the area or are planning to attend the Bethel Art Fair, be sure to stop down to High Street and check out some of the art from the shy, novice and closeted artists. I promise it will be worth your trip.

Tom

Have a wonderful St. Patty’s Day!

The following story is true and it will have more meaning to those of you who have ever been involved with coaching alpine skiing. My team was competing at Big Rock in Mars Hill, Maine and the skiers had arrived at the lodge and were preparing for the day’s event when one of them(I’ll call him Rick) comes up to me and says, “Coach, I don’t think I can race today.”
“What’s wrong,” I asked. “Are you sick?”
“No, I forgot my gloves.”
“Uh, Rick, I don’t think that’s a problem. Here, I have an extra pair.”

Ten minutes later, another skier comes to me, “Coach, guess who forgot his boots?”
I took a quick look around the group and there stood Rick with the dumbest look on his face.
I ventured a guess, “Rick?’
“Yeah, how did you know?”
“I’m telepathic.”

To Rick’s credit, he quickly came up with a solution. Don’t forget, he felt he couldn’t race because he forgot his gloves but not racing wasn’t a consideration without boots! He sprinted to the rental shop and rented a pair for the day.

By the time he was geared up, the rest of the team was on the slopes with the alpine coach inspecting the course. Rick put on his skis and headed for the lift. Minutes later, he comes running through the front door where I was standing, “I forgot my bib.” Racers have to wear a racing bib when inspecting the course. He went upstairs, put on his bib, came running back down, slipped on the cement floor and landed in a heap at my feet. He scrambled to his feet and headed out the door. “Have a nice day.” I called.

Sometime later I was relating Rick’s tough start to the day to a colleague and he said, “Do you suppose he had his bindings adjusted to the new boots? If they’re too loose, he could come out of them while skiing.”

As it happened, we didn’t have to worry about that because, you see, one ski fell off as he was riding up the lift and Rick, being the quick thinker that he is, jumped out of the chair to retrieve it.

A day later, we are on our way home. It’s seven hours from Mars Hill to Bethel. The skiers traveled on a school bus and I followed, driving a van full of ski equipment. We stopped at Burger King in Houlton and out comes Rick with the largest container of soda I’d ever seen.
“Rick, you thirsty?”

Two hours later, we’re just south of Bangor on I-95 when the bus makes an emergency stop. I have no idea why. I’m just starting to think that someone is sick when Rick jumps from the doorway of the bus, over the snowbank, and lands in the ditch in plowed and drifted snow up to his crotch. I get on the radio to the bus driver, “Hey, Gary, what the hell is he doing?”

“Did you see the soda that he bought at Burger King?”

There was probably 2 inches of crusted snow on top and Rick was not only in a ditch but at the base of a ledge that ran about 10 feet straight up and 20 feet in either direction parallel to the highway. Traffic is roaring by so fast that the van and bus are rocking. Rick’s best option would have been to wet his pants, since they were getting wet anyway, and get back on the bus. He tried making his way along the base of the ledge by walking on the crust but being in excess of 200 pounds, he didn’t have a chance. He’d work one foot out, place it on top and try to step up, only to break through and return to where he started. He kept this up for what seemed like forever. I’m laughing so hard the tears are running.
He finally gets up on top of the ledge and behind a bush where I think he breaks Tom Hank’s record he set in a locker room scene in “A League of Their Own.” If I’d only had a stop watch.

You’d think that would be the end of the story. Guess what he did next? Yep, he jumped.

I’m so sorry! I’ve just been so darn busy I haven’t had any time to devote to my ‘therapy” but that will change soon – I hope.

I did make it with all the characters to the shy and novice art show in Bethel on Saturday. I talked with a few people who said they liked what they saw. I hope you find our information entertaining.

I got stories and some new ones, I promise.

Time keeps on ticking and soon, Me and Mainard, Virgil, Florena, Billy, Gabby, Otis and Gary will be boxed up and headed for our Maine summer camp. I’m taking all these guys along because they are going to be displayed as part of an art show in Bethel over the July 4th weekend art fair.

Don’t get too excited though as my stuff ain’t going to be in the real show. No, no! Janet Willey has a show for closet case artists – ayuh, that would be me. So if you’re in Bethel, please stop by her place on High Street and meet the gang. Hell, I might even be there myself.

I’ll post more information on this event later as I get it.

Sayward Lamb sent me this email. I can’t reproduce it the way I received it so here is the text.

Three old ladies are vacationing in Florida and they decide to go to a baseball game. They bring with them a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Soon they are mixing drinks and having a good time but realize that the whiskey is almost all gone and there are a lot of innings left to play.

So from all of this information, can you tell me what inning it is and how many runners are on base?

Okay! It’s the bottom of the “Fifth” and the bags are loaded!

Well, not really! I’ve been very busy and I’ve been away a couple of days so I apologize for the lack of stories and entertainment here. I’ll get better.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto Wakes the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?”
The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars.”
“What that tell you?” asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, “Astronomically Speaking”, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and
insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What’s it tell you, Tonto?”
Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, “Kemo Sabe, you dumber than buffalo shit. Somebody stole tent.”

While Otis and Gabby are off on an ice fishing trip, here’s a couple of funny videos you might be interested in. The titles pretty much describes the contents.

The New Guy in Prison
Red Neck Waltz